Free humorous sayings, quotes and quotations
Man was predestined to have free will.
~humorous sayings by Hal Lee Luyah
Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.
~inspirational sayings about Humorous quotes by Author Unknown
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to weave.
~humorous quotes by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
Murphy was an optimist.
~famous quotes about Humorous by O'Toole's Commentary
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
~humorous sayings by Author Unknown
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
~humorous sayings by John Kenneth Galbraith, Money: Whence It Came, Where It Went
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
~inspirational sayings about Humorous quotes by Author Unknown
He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.
~humorous quotes by Harry Kalas, on Garry Maddox, 1981
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
~famous quotes about Humorous by Evan Esar
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
~humorous sayings by Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
~humorous sayings by Sir Winston Churchill
Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen.
~inspirational sayings about Humorous quotes by Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
~humorous quotes by Aldous Huxley
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
~famous quotes about Humorous by Steven Wright
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.
~humorous sayings by P.D. East
Darwin has interested us in the history of nature's technology.
~humorous sayings by Karl Marx, Capital, 1867
Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
~good sayings about Genius by Josh Billings
I don't pay good wages because I have a lot of money; I have a lot of money because I pay good wages.
~humorous quotes by Robert Bosch
The death of someone we know always reminds us that we are still alive - perhaps for some purpose which we ought to re-examine.
~motivational quotes about Death sayings by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
~humorous sayings by Buddha
The conquest of the earth, which mostly means the taking it away from those who have a different complexion or slightly flatter noses than ourselves, is not a pretty thing when you look into it.
~humorous sayings by Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected
~good sayings about April Fool's Day by Will Rogers
Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - My God, the floor's immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch.
~humorous quotes by Joan Rivers
There may be liberty and justice for all, but there are tax breaks only for some.
~motivational quotes about Taxes sayings by Martin A. Sullivan
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
~humorous sayings by Michael Leunig
If all human lives depended upon their usefulness - as might be judged by certain standards - there would be a sudden and terrific mortality in the world.
~humorous sayings by Gene Tunney
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want
~good sayings about Party Invitations by Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
The cat is the animal to whom the Creator gave the biggest eye, the softest fur, the most supremely delicate nostrils, a mobile ear, an unrivaled paw and a curved claw borrowed from the rose-tree.
~humorous quotes by Colette
We all participate in weaving the social fabric; we should therefore all participate in patching the fabric when it develops holes.
~motivational quotes about Responsibility sayings by Anne C. Weisberg, Everything a Working Mother Needs to Know, 1994
Blondes hav more fun but brunettes can read
~humorous sayings by
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, You're tearing up the grass. We're not raising grass, Dad would reply. We're raising boys.
~humorous sayings by Harmon Killebrew
Night is a world lit by itself.
~good sayings about Night by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.
~humorous quotes by Barbara Jordan
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer
~motivational quotes about Computers sayings by Bruce Graham
Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.
~humorous sayings by Ralph Waldo Emerson
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